Managing Veteran Challenges
Being a Veteran carries a specific meaning, both for the Veteran and for those around them. It is normal for this experience to have an impact on the parenting role. Every Veteran has a different story. Some have deployed in combat while they have families, some may have never deployed at all. Others have left the military years before they have children and others make this transition while parenting. Whatever your story is, being a Veteran and a parent has certain benefits and challenges.
Military to Civilian Life
Adjusting from military to civilian life can be a big change, and it can also affect your role as a parent. This transition can take time, even impacting people for years after they leave the military. It can be helpful to acknowledge that this is a life changing event for everyone involved. Taking care of yourself and using your coping skills is important during this transition. It also helps to share a positive outlook with your child, reassuring them along the way.
Play the video for helpful tips on how to parent while making the transition into civilian life.
Post-Deployment Coping
Every military experience is different and not all people who have been in the military have been deployed. For those who have been deployed, especially service members with children, this experience can be highly stressful before, during, and after deployment. Below are a few ways to make this transition go more smoothly:
- Recognize new processes: Routines and roles likely shifted during deployment, and that’s completely normal. A little flexibility and taking time to learn what’s new and what’s working well can make the transition smoother. Letting your child be the “teacher” about what’s changed helps them feel involved and gives you both a chance to decide together what to keep and what to adjust moving forward.
- Notice how they have changed: Your child may have discovered new interests, made new friends, or taken on more responsibility while you were away. Taking the time to learn about what’s new in their life and recognizing their growth can help you reconnect and show them you appreciate their efforts.
- Let children adjust at their own pace: Every child adjusts differently, so patience is key. Keep an eye out for any big changes in behavior that might signal they need extra support. If you’re concerned, don’t hesitate to check in with their teachers or a therapist—they’re there to help!
- Allow for communication: Take a look at the communication section for helpful tips on talking with your child. Kids may have questions about deployment, and it can be helpful to think about how to answer them in an age-appropriate way. Give them space to share their feelings, and use the listening skills from the communication section to support them.
Parenting After Deployments
Deployment can be a difficult time for parents and children. Knowing what to expect can be helpful for coping.
Select the arrows below to review elements of this transition.
Families face emotional challenges during deployment but often grow stronger through resilience and support. Children’s reactions depend on their age and the at-home parent’s ability to cope. Successful adjustments foster unity and deeper family bonds with the at-home parent and each other.
Deployment experiences can bring growth and responsibility but also significant challenges for families. Reunions often begin with a “honeymoon” phase but require patience as everyone adjusts to changes and new dynamics. If difficulties persist or worsen, such as family tension or signs of PTSD, seeking support can help foster healing and understanding.
Post-deployment changes can bring big adjustments for Veterans and their families. Reconnecting with loved ones and settling into new routines takes time, and challenges like stress or health concerns can add to the transition. Support is available to help make this adjustment smoother for everyone.
Post-deployment changes can be tough for children as they adjust to family routines and reconnect with a parent who has been away. They may feel uncertain, anxious, or frustrated, sometimes showing it through behavior changes. With support, patience, and open communication, families can help children feel more secure and navigate the transition smoothly.
Play the video below for how children were affected by a deployment.
Practice Parenting Approaches
Match each situation with the best approach to help your child understand and feel secure when a separation occurs.
Positive Discipline Strategies
Match each situation with the best approach to help your child understand and feel secure when a separation occurs.
Wrap-Up
As mentioned above, military experiences are different for every Veteran. Some have multiple deployments when their children are at home and other service members might never deploy at all. People might struggle with the transition from military to civilian life in a way that impacts parenting. Allowing yourself the space to make mistakes and grow from your experiences can teach your kids to be forgiving and understanding when they face obstacles in their own lives.
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