Veteran Parenting | Feelings - Coping with Emotions

Coping With Emotions

Coping with emotions can be tough, but it’s a skill you can get better at at over time. Many of us weren’t taught how to manage feelings growing up—often because the adults around us hadn’t learned either. The good news is that you and your child can work on it together. In this section, we’ll explore ways to manage your own emotions and share simple strategies you can use alongside your child.

Three Strategies for Caregiver Coping

Select each image below to reveal a strategy that others have found successful.

Here is a list of strategies that others have found successful.

Be Aware of Your Emotions
- A helpful first step is to check in with yourself. Ask, “How do I feel right now?” You can even rate it—like “On a scale of 1 to 10, how mad, sad, or frustrated am I?”
- The more aware you are of your emotions, the easier it is to manage them and choose strategies that help.
Reduce the Emotion
- Your child’s behavior can bring up strong emotions, and reacting in the moment happens to every parent.
- To respond in a way that reflects your values, try:
  - Taking a break
  - Moving your body
  - Talking to a friend
  - Pausing to consider your child’s perspective
- If you say or do something you regret, offering an apology helps rebuild trust, shows emotional responsibility, and teaches your child how to make things right after a tough moment.
Seek Help for Difficult Emotions
- Some situations may call for extra support. Parenting can be even more challenging if you’re dealing with:
  - Taking a break
  - Moving your body
  - Talking to a friend
  - Pausing to consider your child’s perspective
- Even very young children can pick up on tension at home.
- If managing your emotions feels especially hard, it’s okay to reach out for help—support is available, and you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Ways to Practice Coping With Your Child

Modeling feelings was discussed in a previous section. That is how kids learn what feelings are and what they do. Kids also need to learn ways to cope with emotions. Below are a few tools you can practice with your children where you both can be doing the skill at the same time.

Focused Breathing

Focused breathing is a skill that works for adults to calm down when they are nervous or angry. Kids can also use this tool and many are already using it in school. Check with your child to see if they are familiar with it. Together, you can practice at home.

You can share the video below to show them how it works.

Play the video below to see a parent try balloon breathing with her child.

Taking a Break

Taking a break can mean a couple of things when it comes to coping skills.

In situations where you or your child are high on the emotional scale, an immediate break can be a good option. You might step into another room if it is safe to leave your child there, or place a younger child in a safe, contained area, such as a crib. The goal is to de-escalate emotions, not to leave for too long, since that can make a child feel abandoned. Tell your child you are coming back so they know this is temporary. During the break, calming tools such as deep breathing or listening to music can help.

Second, taking a break can also mean shifting the mood with a positive activity, such as a quick dance party or a walk around the block. This approach helps everyone step away from the situation and reset. Be specific about what you are taking a break from, so it becomes a skill your child can use later.

One type of break is about creating space from the other person. The other is about changing the situation itself. Both are effective ways to cope with strong emotions.

Other Strategies for Practicing Coping

Helping children cope with stress involves teaching them healthy ways to manage their emotions and build resilience. By incorporating activities that provide structure, encourage expression, and offer positive distractions, you can help them develop lifelong coping skills.

Encourage physical activity or active play.
Maintain a routine in times of stress.
Help them talk through a problem so it teaches them problem solving skills.
Older kids might like journaling; you can buy them a journal and write in some prompts at the top of the pages to get them started.
Go volunteer: it can help kids recognize the benefits they have in their lives and teach them to help others as a tool later.
Do a gratitude practice every day: say one or two things you are thankful for every night.

Supporting Your Teen’s Emotions

Help your teen recognize and express their emotions by observing their cues, listening without judgment, and creating space for open conversations. Pause before reacting, stay calm, and offer support rather than immediate advice. To support your teen, you can:

Observe facial expressions, tone, and body language
Build a shared list of words for different emotions
Pause before responding to avoid reacting emotionally
Take deep breaths, step away, or shift focus when needed
Check in when both of you are calm and ready to talk
Listen, empathize, and validate their feelings
Ask if they want advice before offering solutions

Learning Reflection Skills

You can develop skills to help you and your child reflect on the emotion you are feeling in the moment.

Select each tab to view suggestions for skill building exercises for you and your child.

Method: Develop family goal(s).

Tips: Writing down one or two family goals can help everyone handle emotions in a positive way. Start by completing this sentence: “Our family is working to deal with emotions by ____.” You can also create different goals for specific emotions; for example, “Our family is working to manage frustration by taking deep breaths before responding” or “We will handle sadness by checking in with each other and offering support.” Review your goals regularly and adjust them as needed.

Method: Practice deep breathing.

Tips: When stressed, take deep breaths in through your nose and out your mouth. Let your stomach rise as you inhale and count to three as you breathe in, and then out.

Method: Practice muscle relaxation.

Tips: Practicing muscle relaxation regularly can help your family feel more calm and in control during stressful moments. You can make this fun for kids by calling it a “melting” game or pairing it with calming music. To practice muscle relaxation, find a quiet space, take slow, deep breaths, and gradually relax your muscles from your feet up to your face, noticing the difference as tension melts away. Kids can imagine they’re ice cream melting in the sun—staying solid as they breathe in and slowly “melting” from their feet to their face as they breathe out.

Method: Identify a favorite activity that distracts and soothes.

Tips: This favorite activity should make you or your child feel better. It might range from jumping rope to thinking positive thoughts to going on a hike.

Managing Emotions in Real-Life Situations

Managing Emotions Activity

These parents and their children need help managing their emotions. Help each parent by selecting the most appropriate response for their feelings in these situations.

Select the Play Button when you are ready to begin.

Ways to Demonstrate Compassion for Your Child

Sometimes, when we are frustrated or angry at our children’s behavior, it can be difficult to feel compassionate toward them. Just like other skills discussed in this course, there are specific tools that can help. The more we practice putting ourselves in our child’s shoes, even when we are mad or stressed, the easier it will become.

Select the arrow below to examine ways to demonstrate compassion for your child.

Encourage open communication, even about difficult, painful, or emotionally charged topics. For example, if your child hears upsetting news, like a classmate moving away or a scary event on the news, encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings.

Practice active listening skills: try not to talk over your child and give them enough time to come up with their responses. Younger children or extremely upset kids might need extra time. For example, if your child is upset, resist the urge to jump in or finish their sentences. Instead, sit with them and say, “Take your time—I’m listening.”

Empathize with your child’s feelings, even if the problem seems small. You can empathize with how they feel, even if the problem seems small to you. Acknowledge their emotions genuinely: “I can see you’re really upset about losing your pen. I know losing something you care about can be frustrating.”

Try to remember it is hard being a kid (you don’t always have a say in a lot of areas in your life, bigger people are always telling you what to do, etc.). For example, if your child is upset over something small like not being able to wear their favorite shirt, remembering what it was like being a kid can sometimes help tone down our responses.

Ways to Let Your Child Know You Love Them

Select each dropdown to learn ways you can show your child you love them.

Demonstrate affection by giving them hugs, kisses, and physical closeness
Listen and ask about their day to show interest in their daily life
Compliment and praise them to recognize their efforts and achievements
Apologize when you mess up to show them the importance of accountability and vulnerability
Use lunchbox notes to add a personal touch to their day with messages of love
Make their favorite meal to show love through food
Frame a picture of you together to create a lasting memento of your bond

Spend quality time together through fun activities like game nights
Go bowling or to the park to create memories with outings they enjoy
Pick “your song” to share a song that feels special between the two of you
Take a quiet 1:1 walk around the block together to connect
Read to them to foster connection through shared stories
Ask for their opinion to show respect for their thoughts and ideas
Learn their favorite song to take interest in their passions

Another great way to connect is by meeting your child where they are. Instead of asking them to join your activity, try joining theirs. Show interest in what excites them and use everyday moments to build deeper bonds. You might ask to play a game together, point out something positive they did, or simply give them a hug and say, “I love you.”

Wrap-Up

Modeling how to cope with emotions is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. It’s not always easy—especially if we weren’t taught how to manage emotions ourselves. Recognizing that it’s a learning process for both you and your child is an important step forward. It shows emotional growth in action!

Return to Top